Lydnsey Sickler: Proud Haven
Interviewed by Naomi Shin
Lyndsey (Lynz) Sickler (they/them) is the executive director of Proud Haven and is on the board of TransYOUniting. Their advocacy work has focused on youth and young adults regarding sexual, mental, physical, and emotional health and safety.
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Q: Can you tell me about your background and experience as a community advocate for LGBTQIA folks?
A: I started back when I was a teenager myself. I was 19 years old. I did volunteer work as a HIV/AIDS prevention intervention specialist with Pitt Men’s Study under the University of Pittsburgh. I was hired directly after graduation in the fall of ‘99 and I was with the University of Pittsburgh until 2004 when they traded my program to Persad Center. I had to re-interview for my job and of course kept it and was with Persad until 2020, at which point you know, the whole world kind of changed a little bit.
I have been with Proud Haven as a volunteer on their board since 2014. And when I lost my job of 16 years and wasn't quite sure what to do with myself, [...] the co-founder of Proud Haven was like, “Hey, you know, we have the space. You know, why don't you do your youth programs here? And at least we give you something to do. We can't pay you, but we can keep things going.” [...] Did that for a year or two, and then got hired as the executive director the January before [this past January].
We have been working with TransYOUniting for several years. The relationship has gotten tighter and tighter and tighter over time. Dena, who is the TransYOUniting founder, was talking about getting her own office space. And, you know, the space we had was lovely. We were very glad to have it, but it was very small. So we ended up moving in together, with the 525 East Ohio Street community center! So it is both of our offices and we share the adjustable community space in the front to do various programs- everything from community events to workshops to movie nights to whatever.
[...] I went from HIV/AIDS prevention to homeless outreach in 2011 [because] essentially my organization at the time lost funds, and if I wanted to work with kids, it was going to have to be under homelessness. So I dove headfirst to learn all about all of the things. I came back and met Susie from Homeless Education Network, and we ended up doing street outreach services, homeless drop-in under the GLCC. That was from 2010 to 2015.
There's been a lot. I am an avid learner. I love to volunteer. I like to help people. I've been with Proud Haven for nine of the 10 years of existence. I've been doing community work for almost 25 years. I started out as a volunteer and a young person myself. And then directly after graduation from [...] Chatham University, I got hired to run the program that I was volunteering at, and I've just kind of been doing similar work ever since.
Q: It sounds like that move with TransYOUniting would really facilitate collaboration between like all the organizations.
A: Absolutely. Yeah. It really is. I've been saying it's kind of our mustard seed and faith in each other and the community, because we lead by example, not by telling people what to do. What we've discovered is, since we opened on December 1st of last year we have definitely had some challenges, but the biggest and the coolest thing is that people are noticing the work that we're doing together and wanting to join in, which is what we want.
Q: So you described a little bit already about the types of services you provide. Can you describe more about specific programs or services that they all provide?
A: I work specifically with Proud Haven. I'm also on the board of TransYOUniting, and we have a shelter together called Haven House. It's focused on trans and non-binary folks from 18 to 30. We house them from one to three months, although we've had people as short as three weeks and as long as nine months, because our job is not to kick people out once they get in, it’s to get them to the next best step. We do youth drop-in and adult drop-in five days a week. Youth drop-in is 12 to 6, adult drop-in is 6 to 10. We have fun stuff too, like karaoke nights. We rent the space out for drag shows and craft fairs and all kinds of things.
There's also a job readiness program that TransYOUniting is leading for black women and femmes. There's also [...] workshops that happened over four months around navigating resources. [...] So how to write a resume, how to shop on a budget, how to take care, good skincare and haircare, what self-care means, how to clean on a budget, how to do job interviews and how to open a bank account, all those kinds of basic skill stuff.
We just started having social events like My House Vogue Nights. Technically they're four times a month, but the bigger nights are the first and fourth Thursdays. And we have Allies come and do testing. We also work with CHS and they come on certain nights when we do stuff. We're just kind of consistently and constantly moving forward and finding ways to engage with the community.
Q: So transgender people will have diverse experiences and needs. Can you talk about how you prioritize intersectionality within your work?
A: We prioritize black, brown, and POC folks of trans and non-binary experience. What that means essentially is if [...] we're low on resources, the services go first to people that are black, brown or POC. We still resource everyone. We still make sure they get their needs met. It may just not be as immediate if there are folks that are black, brown and POC in need first.
Q: Can you talk about some of the primary reasons or challenges that lead the people that you help to experience homelessness and how the shelter works to address these issues?
A: There is isolation, there's discrimination. Both on a micro and macro level. So issues with people coming out and with their families, with schools, with jobs. Also there's the issue of what people deem as possible. Then of course there's issues with mental health, which all people encounter, not just trans and non-binary folk. What we try to do is engage with each resident individually and make sure that they have a goal plan and are focused on what it is that they feel they need, with the ultimate goal, of course, of getting safer and stable housing. But people go about that many, many different ways. Just because one of our primary goals is to make sure their next step is safe housing, it's not gonna be the same path for everybody. Some people don't have IDs, some people have never interviewed for a job before. And so we teach folks how to look into EOE and make sure that they're aware of the different laws and the different areas of the state and that kind of stuff to make sure that they have a little bit of a leg up when they're applying for jobs.
Q: You mentioned mental health is a big issue. Can you describe how you support your clients in accessing healthcare and mental health services in general?
A: We do a lot of referral and resourcing. We work with any and all LGBTQ organizations that prioritize trans, non-binary, and queer folks. A lot of times people will come in and drop off their cards, and I always do a little interview with them to make sure I know who it is that we're referring to. But essentially, we keep our doors open. we make sure that [...] they understand that none of us that are working here are therapists, but we are resource people. So resource guides. We might refer to Central or Hugh Lane or we might refer to Metro or anywhere else where folks might need that kinda care. And we know that they're LGBT friendly, so again, that whole little leg up.
Q: Gotcha. And what advice would you give to physicians and medical students and mental health service providers to become more inclusive and LGBTQ+ friendly?
A: To pay attention to people that don't look like them, act like them, talk like them, look like them. And not in a scientific “pull you apart” way, but in a genuinely interested and engaged way. You know, sometimes when you tell specifically white folks oh, you need to be more diverse, [...] they think that just picking apart somebody from an oppressed minority’s lifestyle or asking them really invasive questions is… No. Don't do that <laugh>. Get real life experience, being around people already doing the work, knowing that you don't know the answer. You're not going to know the answer until you actually, for lack of a better way, walk along the same path.
I just said this the other day in a conversation. Somebody was talking about something that happened and they thought I wasn't listening. [...] And I said, “I want you to understand there's nothing that I can do as a white queer person that will ever totally inform me of what the black trans experience is like because I'm not black and I never will be black, and there's nothing in my life experience that is gonna ever give me that knowledge, but I can be empathetic and I can be compassionate and I can listen.”
The biggest thing for people that are trying to learn about other communities [...] is that you have some compassion and understanding that again, you are not gonna know everything. You're not gonna fully understand. And sometimes it is better to sit back and listen than to constantly question.
And also, it is not black, brown, or POC people's function in life to be a walking encyclopedia of diversity. It's called Google for a reason. Do some research, talk to other folks already doing the work.
One of the things that I keep seeing is there's really wonderful professional black doctors and researchers that are already doing all of this work in Pittsburgh, and <laugh> then some random white person with money is like, “hey, look, I'm doing this thing” and didn't even bother to check out the environment or talk to anybody already doing the work, and then wonder why nobody wants to work with them.
We just had that happen a couple years ago [...] in homeless outreach where somebody came into some money, and their heart's in the right place and that's great, but they thought because they had a relative that was close to them that was trans, that they would have this innate understanding. And it was like… but you are not. You are cis and you are white, and [...] why don't you join us instead of trying to create this whole other thing. She did not listen. She did not succeed, which is sad, because she did raise a lot of money that she took her bat in the ball and went home.
[...] I think I would encourage people to really do a deep dive personally about what it is they want to do the work for. There is no way to do this if you don't have some kind of intrinsic reward system inside. [...] It's not a bad thing to receive from giving, but is it enough? What else is going on in your life? Why are you doing this? Is this an ‘oh, poor pity people that aren't me,’ or is this you actually legitimately wanna help? Is this about, ‘oh, look, I did all these things and look at all the letters behind my name’? At the end of the day, what do you actually know about people other than what you write down on a piece of paper?
I think it's really important for folks to be genuinely engaged, genuinely care. If you sit down and you think to yourself, “why am I doing this?”, and the answer isn't to help people, it's not the right thing for you to do. Not everybody can do things that are for the community because not everybody's built that way, and that's okay. But as long as folks know where their heart is and are willing to be open and actively listen instead of constantly trying to tell people what's right and wrong when they're just entering into the thing, then it'll work out. You have to be humble. That would be a big word- humble.
Q: Yeah. Humility is very important. Going along those lines, if anyone reading this is interested, how can they support your work and efforts to promote efforts on LGBTQ+ rights in general in Pittsburgh?
A: So obviously, the call of any and all nonprofits working with the community is to help us raise money, but I know that not everybody can do that. Not everybody has time for that necessarily. Cool.
We have opportunities to volunteer. We have volunteer training once a month. You could put together a supply drive. What we're constantly in need of are shelf stable goods- anything that can be on a shelf and doesn't need to be refrigerated. We need things like new socks and new underwear to give to folks that need it.
You could do something as simple as following our Facebook and Instagram and then sharing with your network the different events and things that are going on. For example, we have the Queer Carnival at the end of this month, and it's basically a crafters flea market and it benefits the community center. So, you could come and attend, you could help spread the word, you could check out our calendar and just share with friends. There's lots of different ways on many different levels to engage.
Q: I know that there was a lot of backlash around the closing of the Smithfield Shelter a few weeks ago. Since that shelter has closed, how has that affected Proud Haven and people who need services there?
A: Well, I wish I could tell you that, you know, we've seen an increase, but it's been constant with or without that space. I will say we've had a slightly higher uptick of non-queer people come in, which is fine. Our QMNTY closet is for everybody. But you know, honestly, so we started keeping a heavy track of things in 2018. And we went from serving 20 people one year to 50 people the next. We housed not including the shelter, like 80 some people last year. And that's not including the 17 people that we put in Haven House. The need is constant and growing. And the problem is that homeless people (to government officials and people that have money and pull the purse strings) are throwaway people. And it sucks. That's the truth of it. [...]
I could be wrong because, like many people who do this kind of work, I try not to listen to the news anymore because it's depressing and I got enough of that in front of me. But, it seems like if somebody hadn't blown the whistle, nobody would've known, there would've been no preemptive planning, and it just goes to show that the people in power don't care about those that don't have.
A lot of times, I hear people and I see people on the news articles [...] blaming people with drug addictions, blaming people with mental health, blaming. It doesn't matter what's going on. Everybody deserves a roof. Everybody deserves basic healthcare. Everybody deserves kindness and compassion. And just because for whatever reason, somebody doesn't have a job, it doesn't make them a bad person. Just because somebody is suffering from mental illness, it doesn't make them a bad person. You know what I mean? It doesn't make them any less qualifying of regular human dignity and respect. And I feel like the people that have the power to make these changes don't care enough yet.
Q: I mean, I completely agree with you. Shelter is a basic human right to have.
A: And the thing that's crazy is that people complain about crime, but if folks had a place to be, if folks had a home… the math doesn't math and I don't understand why people aren't getting it. When people don't have basic human survival things, they're going to turn to crime, they're going to turn to drugs. And this is not demonizing drugs- people do drugs for various reasons. But they're going to do things that maybe aren't as positive as somebody that has a home to go to every night, that has food in their cupboard, that has a basic way to take care of themselves. And we spend more money on policing and punishing people for being poor than we do on taking care of them.
Q: Can you provide any other examples of specific legislative or policy changes that you're currently involved in advocating for?
A: Well, I can tell you we try to keep our ear to the ground around all the weird fencing laws and where people can stay and not stay. Somebody gave the excuse a couple years ago when I was still doing the SOS through the GLCC- they had moved all of these homeless encampments away from downtown because Batman or something was filming. And it's like, instead of doing that, why not give them a place to be- instead of spending millions of dollars on fencing, which, by the way, just ends up getting cut down. There's just nothing that makes logical sense. We complain about not having money, but then we spend money on frivolous projects that aren’t actually helping people.
We try to keep up to date with stuff. It's really hard because [...] we're a small crew. I'm the executive director. I have one full-time staff and one part-time staff [who] actually is a resident assistant and lives with the folks in the shelter. So it's hard to keep up with all that stuff when we have our day-to-day things to go and do but if residents or other people walk in and they need legal help, we do referrals. They need to talk, we listen, if they need letters of recommendation or anything like that, we can do that as well. I know that I should be more on top of that, but we just got through Pride Month <laugh>, and I'm still kind of recovering.
Q: Totally understandable. Last question, more on a positive note. Can you talk about your favorite part about the work that you do?
A: I really, really, truly love to see people glow. There's a thing that happens when people who are in unstable situations are moving towards stability, to their energy, to their aura, to their person. And there's an increase in confidence, there's a difference in how they carry themselves, there's a pride that they take in how they present themselves.
One of the quickest examples is we had a young person referred from a different shelter. They were having a horrible time. When I met with them, [they were] very sweet but would not look me in the face, could barely speak above a whisper. And they accepted the space here, and within 48 hours, it was almost like a brand new person. [...] When I talked to them, they looked me in the face. When I was sitting with them, they weren't shaking.
Sometimes people just need the smallest amount of love, just to get that much better for themselves. So I think for me it's just helping people along that process to be their best selves, whatever that is for them.
Q: Yeah, that sounds amazing. It's always really good to see the positive…
A: Absolutely. There's always positive. You just gotta know where to look.